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HomeSocial Life in IslamHow Is "Being Cross With Somebody" Evaluated in Islam?

How Is “Being Cross With Somebody” Evaluated in Islam?

Islam is a religion that regulates both individual and social principles. For this reason, in Islam, being cross with somebody has been seen as a situation that disrupts the peace and trust of society and damages the bonds of brotherhood. And it has not been welcomed in terms of feeding the feelings such as grudges and hatred it might bring.

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Believers’ love for each other, showing mercy and compassion to each other, will be just like a body sharing this pain with insomnia and high fever when one organ gets sick, other organs too. ” [1] He emphasized that believers should be brothers. For this, religious brotherhood was deemed sufficient without blood ties. He clarified the subject in detail in another hadith: “Beware of suspicion because it is the most lying word. Don’t try to see and hear each other’s shortcomings. Do not investigate one’s private life. Do not envy each other. Do not turn your backs on each other and be cross with somebody. Do not harbor hatred or hostility towards each other. O servants of Allah! Be brothers with each other!” [2]

As a result of the feeling of anger in human being, from time to time, a person feels anger towards the other person or be cross with him. This situation has seen as a human condition. But three days are considered to be enough for one’s anger to subside and mood to calm down. Muhammad (PBUH) said, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to be cross with his Muslim brother for more than three days (and thus turn away from each other when they meet). The best of them is the one who greets first.”[3] He said, “A person being cross with his Muslim brother for a year is like he shed his blood.” He also forbade the prolongation of the process.

Be cross with somebody is a situation that both Allah and Muhammad (PBUH) do not welcome. “Deeds are presented to Allah every Monday and Thursday. The sins of every servant who does not associate partners with Allah will be forgiven, except for the person who has enmity with his religious brother. It is commanded (to the angels) to defer these two people until they reconcile.”[4] Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) warned his ummah about this issue in a definite language.

Being cross with someone longer than three days was deemed appropriate only when they were in the name of religion and Allah. In the time of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), an example of this issue is that both His Companions (sahaba) and He were crossed with three companions (sahaba) [5] who did not participate in the Battle of Tabuk without an excuse, and they boycotted them. The forgiveness of these three Companions as a result of their repentance is also described in the Qur’an.[6]

Muslims are commanded in verses and hadiths to reconcile those who are cross with someone. In the 10th verse of Surah Al-Hujuraat, “Believers are only brothers. So make peace between your brothers…” [7] Abu Darda narrated the memory of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), which draws attention to the importance of the issue: “The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked, ‘Shall I inform you of what is more virtuous than fasting, prayer, and charity?’ The Companions said, ‘Of course, O Messenger of Allah.’ The Messenger of Allah said: ‘It is to set things right between two people. On the other hand, a disturbance between two people destroys (faith) from its roots.” [8] In another hadith, Muhammad (PBUH) said, “A person who tries to get between people (who cross with each other) by saying good things and carrying good words is not considered a liar.” [9] Through this saying, He had found carrying words acceptable that were originally forbidden in Islam, with the intention of reconciliation and good words.

Intentionally disrupting and dividing people are behaviors that Islam does not find pleasant. Interruption (mischief) and cooperation in this matter are strictly prohibited in many verses. And “…help in goodness and righteousness, do not cooperate in the way of sin and injustice. Fear Allah because Allah’s punishment is severe.” [10] It is pointed out that helping each other should be about goodness and righteousness.

[1] Muslim, Birr, 66.

[2] Bukhari, Adab, 57

[3] Bukhari, Isti’zan, 9.

[4] Muslim, Birr 36

[5] Sahaba: A person who lived in the time of  Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and had conversations with him.

[6] At – Tawba/118

[7] Al-Hujuraat/10

[8] Abu Dawud, Adab, 50; Tirmidhi, Sıfatü’l-kıyâme, 56

[9] Tirmidhi, Birr, 26

[10] Al-Maaida/2